great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
