I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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