they need to just BURY HIM!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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