I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
my sisters under your porch take her home
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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