Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
