Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
