I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
