just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
