its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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