We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
