He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Randomize
