with your own penis?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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