Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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