He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
