I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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