Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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