Kiss
Puke
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
