She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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