Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
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just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
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Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"