Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.