Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins http://tfl.nu/bn73

Replies (68) Good night (6168) Bad night (775)
Favorite
(619): View more from California

Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(619): Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it. http://tfl.nu/cnbd

Replies (31) Good night (1013) Bad night (7639)
Favorite
(315): View more from New York

im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(315): im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone! http://tfl.nu/rzxj

Replies (41) Good night (3222) Bad night (1136)
Favorite
(703): View more from Virginia

i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(703): i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk... http://tfl.nu/wk7z

Replies (29) Good night (3620) Bad night (1848)
Favorite
(518): View more from New York

med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(518): med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV. http://tfl.nu/e3eb

Replies (14) Good night (1631) Bad night (5239)
Favorite
(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

God wants them to get laid too.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(267): Why do fat girls all have such cute faces? (484): God wants them to get laid too. http://tfl.nu/23cz

Replies (59) Good night (8131) Bad night (1565)
Favorite
(848): View more from New Jersey

She said she wanted to have closure sex.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(848): She said she wanted to have closure sex. http://tfl.nu/0dyj

Replies (9) Good night (3870) Bad night (1175)
Favorite
(508): View more from Massachusetts

Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(508): Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area. http://tfl.nu/biqi

Replies (4) Good night (2739) Bad night (1071)
Favorite
(607): View more from New York

I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(607): I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts. http://tfl.nu/406u

Replies (4) Good night (660) Bad night (847)
Favorite
(519): View more from Ontario

I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(519): I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time. http://tfl.nu/5ti8

Replies (7) Good night (955) Bad night (804)
Favorite
(937): View more from Ohio

We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(937): We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you. http://tfl.nu/h5o1

Replies (12) Good night (1233) Bad night (1016)
Favorite
(503): View more from Oregon

So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.

(503): View more from Oregon

He asked if he could come over tomorrow....

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(503): So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn. (503): He asked if he could come over tomorrow.... http://tfl.nu/yk5d

Replies (9) Good night (1701) Bad night (429)
Favorite
(718): View more from New York

You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(718): You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning. http://tfl.nu/qv31

Replies (3) Good night (872) Bad night (327)
Favorite
(410): View more from Maryland

The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(410): The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day. http://tfl.nu/gmm1

Replies (4) Good night (506) Bad night (294)
Favorite
(317): View more from Indiana

There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(317): There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that. http://tfl.nu/yu8u

Replies (1) Good night (494) Bad night (243)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: