Texts From Last Night

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  (360): View more from Washington

  i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man

  (206): View more from Washington

  ?

  (360): View more from Washington

  he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!

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  (360): i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man (206): ? (360): he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH! http://tfl.nu/k0fi
  Replies (27) Good night (4292) Bad night (908)
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  (310): View more from California

  Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.

  (310): View more from California

  Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.

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  (310): Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them. (310): Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light. http://tfl.nu/t4oe
  Replies (12) Good night (3303) Bad night (640)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it

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  (401): My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it http://tfl.nu/ym1h
  Replies (22) Good night (934) Bad night (4484)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?

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  (850): when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children? http://tfl.nu/iefn
  Replies (26) Good night (1381) Bad night (6123)
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  (909): View more from California

  According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack

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  (909): According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack http://tfl.nu/ipzj
  Replies (15) Good night (3828) Bad night (1579)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr

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  (425): please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr http://tfl.nu/rnxk
  Replies (4) Good night (1854) Bad night (1008)
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  (805): View more from California

  We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.

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  (805): We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits. http://tfl.nu/3ys3
  Replies (17) Good night (1187) Bad night (2710)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...

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  (786): It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries... http://tfl.nu/iebn
  Replies (11) Good night (2143) Bad night (855)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?

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  (715): I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME? http://tfl.nu/q3mm
  Replies (12) Good night (2314) Bad night (771)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.

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  (860): New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall. http://tfl.nu/yba5
  Replies (3) Good night (1527) Bad night (550)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed

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  (610): i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed http://tfl.nu/7f8u
  Replies (11) Good night (769) Bad night (1568)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.

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  (785): I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight. http://tfl.nu/7eeo
  Replies (3) Good night (664) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.

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  (970): There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner. http://tfl.nu/d05g
  Replies (2) Good night (547) Bad night (353)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious

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  (914): I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious http://tfl.nu/lv2e
  Replies (3) Good night (716) Bad night (283)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?

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  (770): Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird? http://tfl.nu/6m2y
  Replies (3) Good night (347) Bad night (186)

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