Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.