Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.