he wants to bone in the snuggie
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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