so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
