i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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