it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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