I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
