i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
