New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize