Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
