The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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