Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
