my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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