I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
