I think I just saw someone hide a body.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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