He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
