I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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