her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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