my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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