I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
