is your mom at the bar?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize