The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
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She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
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forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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