Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
