so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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