we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
