Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize