I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
