why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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