I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
