Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
third nipple confirmed
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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