i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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