I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
