In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
