yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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