Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
