How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
