so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
