Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
When did angry sex become our thing?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
