I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm lost and stupid without you.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
