i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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