Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
