So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
