Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
