I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
