Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
